Gifts and giving

About one visit's worth

The usual guide is up to the cost of one visit for a hairdresser, up to a week's pay for a housekeeper, up to an evening's pay for a regular sitter and $10 to $30 for a newspaper carrier. That's common practice, not a rule, and a small gift with a note is fine if money is tight. In a national survey in the fall of 2025, the typical holiday tip was $50 for a housekeeper and $48 for child care.

What if I already tip at every visit? Then a smaller holiday tip or a small gift is plenty.

A gift card, about $25

A gift card is the favorite. In an informal poll of about 700 educators in 2024, 79 percent picked one and about 7 percent wanted a mug, and in a national survey in the fall of 2025 the typical holiday amount for a teacher was $25. Common practice is a gift rather than cash, with a note, and some school districts limit what a teacher may accept, so check with the school first.

Can the class go in on one gift? Yes. One gift card from the whole class is a common way to do it. Some districts set a limit on class gifts too, so ask first.

Two to four weeks ahead

Everyone draws one name in secret and buys one gift for that person, up to a spending limit the group agrees on. Common practice is to draw two to four weeks before the exchange, so there's time to shop and ship. Most groups pick a number between $20 and $50.

Can couples be kept from drawing each other? Yes. On our Secret Santa page you can mark any two people who shouldn't draw each other before you draw.

Open one or steal one

Everyone brings one wrapped gift and draws a number. On your turn you unwrap a new gift or steal one that's already open, and whoever loses a gift does the same. Most groups freeze a gift after two or three steals and set a price limit of about $20 to $30, with $25 the most common.

What's a good price limit? About $25, the most common choice. Say one number out loud, so nobody feels shown up.

An orange, then small things

By old tradition an orange goes in the toe, a custom usually traced to the legend of St. Nicholas dropping gold into stockings hung by the fire to dry. Above it, common choices are candy and chocolate coins, with socks or lip balm for grown-ups and small toys for children.

Why an orange? Nobody can say for sure. The favorite explanation is that it stands in for the St. Nicholas gold, and oranges were also a rare treat in hard years like the Depression.

Say so early, offer something else

Bring it up before anyone has started shopping, and say it plainly, to the whole group at once if you can. Offer something in its place, like a cookie swap or gifts for the children only. That's common practice, and you'll often find someone else was hoping you'd say it.

Do we have to give a reason? No. Saying the family has grown and you'd like to simplify is plenty.

Ask first, then bring that

Ask your host what would help, and bring that. If they say nothing, common practice is a small gift that needs no work from them, like chocolates or flowers already in a vase. Don't expect it to be served that night, and don't bring a dish nobody asked for, since it can throw off the menu.

Do I have to bring something? No. A gift isn't required at most gatherings, though it's customary at a dinner party unless you're close friends who eat together often.

Often into mid or late January

No federal law sets a deadline, so the store's own policy decides, and 30 days from purchase is a common standard. Many big stores stretch that for holiday purchases, often into mid or late January, and the clock usually starts the day the gift was bought, not the day you opened it. Without a receipt, you'll often get store credit at the lowest recent price, if the store takes it back at all.

Do stores have to take returns at all? Generally no, unless the item is defective or wasn't as described. Some states require a store to post its return policy, so look at the register or on the receipt.